Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
