I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
