I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
