just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
