Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
