I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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