No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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