talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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