I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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