Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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