apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
