he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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