I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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