maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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