people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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