yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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