Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
