ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
