Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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