does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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