Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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