Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
