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Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
