i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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