The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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