As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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