Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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