Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dear god my vagina.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
