Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i think im in europe. pls send help
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The ass gains better be worth it
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