I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
