a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
