So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize