I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
