think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
