Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
