I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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