i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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