She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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