So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
