Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
