Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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