that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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