My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
