i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
