Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
