remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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