I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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