how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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