If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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