My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
