Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
