I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
love makes seman taste better
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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