The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
