names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
