Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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