wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
