Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
