I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
