i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
