He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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