Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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