i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
