The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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