I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
