That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
