Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
