You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
