you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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