Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish i was in the wii world.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
