I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I faked an abortion last night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize