I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
