do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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