Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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